Quantcast
Channel: The Fledgling's Tale
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 25

Thoughts Following the Death of Robin Williams

$
0
0
hen it comes to bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress, schizophrenia or depression, an uncharacteristic coyness takes over. We often say nothing. The mentally ill frighten and embarrass us. And so we marginalize the people who most need our acceptance. What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, more unashamed conversation.
- Glenn Close


I want to say something but I don’t even know what to say. I’m writing this with no idea where it will lead, which isn’t my normal MO. But I feel the need to make sense out of the chaos in my mind, and I’m hoping words can be the tool to help me accomplish that.

I felt tremendous sadness (along with everyone else) when I heard about Robin Williams’ suicide. I think he worked his way deeper into our hearts than the average movie star or celebrity. He made us laugh, he made us cry, he made us feel. It’s a tragedy to lose someone like that, and it’s an even greater tragedy that his life ended by his own hand. It’s heartbreaking that he felt so lost or without hope that that seemed like the only solution.

Processing the death of Robin Williams has been a mixed bag for me. Part of it is a sobering reminder of what mental illness is capable of. Part of it is a celebration of the many years he made the most of what he had, all while brightening the lives of countless millions. It can’t have been easy for him, and I find his life to be an inspiration, even though it ended in tragedy. The tragic ending does nothing to take away from his successes. And I’m not talking about the professional ones. I’m talking about who he was and how he lived his life.

My mind has been swirling with thoughts about all these things (and more) for days. And in the meanwhile, the public conversation has turned to mental illness, which is obviously very personal to me. It’s impossible for me to read blog posts and articles about this while being objective and detached. I simply can’t be. And the truth is I have experienced emotions at both end of the spectrum while reading things online over the last few days.

On the one hand, mental illness is slowly but surely getting more attention, and being acknowledged as an actual illness and not as a personal deficiency. More and more people are coming to recognize this and are adding their voices to the thousands of others who want better support, more affordable healthcare options, and more awareness and understanding for people who are suffering. This is inspiring. It is hope.

Unfortunately, on the other hand, there are so many people who still see mental illness as a character flaw in one way or another. In fact, the online discussions in response to Robin Williams’ death have forced me to accept that there are more of these people than I previously would have thought. And it breaks my heart. Not just for my own sake. Far from it. It breaks my heart for the woman who suffers in silence and blames herself for her inadequacies because that’s all she’s ever been taught. It breaks my heart for the son who struggles but gets no understanding from his parents who only insist he needs to try harder or shake it off. It breaks my heart for the husband who confides his struggles to his wife only to have her tell him that he just needs to exercise greater faith in god.

There are a variety of these types of messages out there, and many of them have religious overtones. And all of them put responsibility for healing on the sufferer themselves. You just need to pray more. Maybe you need to repent. Just don’t get so upset about things. You need to be more grateful for what you have. Just decide to be happy. You need to stop thinking about yourself so much. Stop allowing Satan to have influence in your life. Just find what is amiss in your life and correct it. God wants you to be happy, so why aren’t you?

It all comes down to information and understanding. And I guess there are a lot of people who still don’t understand what seems so plainly obvious to some of us. Mental illness is not a character flaw, nor is it something people can just fix like shaking off a bad mood. It’s not a punishment from God, nor is a sign that someone’s life isn’t in line with his plan. It’s not an indicator of someone’s righteousness. It’s not a result of laziness or apathy or poor choices.

No one would say any of these things about someone suffering from a thyroid disorder or asthma or MS. It would be ridiculous for anyone to suggest that those conditions are due to a person’s choices, or that they have the power to fix it themselves. It shouldn’t be any different for people suffering from mental illness.

We need to create a safe space for people struggling with mental health issues. The social stigmas people face serve only to compound the problems they’re already having. Our first priority should always be keeping people safe. And subjecting them to unfair judgments and criticisms is far from safe.

There is hope. The more we learn about things, the more public opinion shifts. It’s happened with other things and eventually it will happen with this. It is already started, and there is plenty of evidence of this.

But for now I’m sad. I’m sad about some of the horrible things I’ve read online, things that I wish I could un-see. I’m worried about the impact that these words will have on people who aren’t lucky enough to have a good support system. I’m worried about the people who will internalize these damaging messages and believe them. I’m worried about people who are already battling too many demons also having to face crippling guilt and self-loathing because they believe that they are somehow to blame for how they feel.

We can do better than this. We need to do better than this.



Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 25

Trending Articles